Robin
2003-11-18 17:15:15 UTC
1 .Two peanuts walk into a bar. One was assalted.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve
you, but don't start anything."
3. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve
food in here."
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two aerial antennas meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant.
7. Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
8. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly
"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
9. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
11. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's
cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his
teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What?, Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"
12. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit
a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.
Robin
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve
you, but don't start anything."
3. A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve
food in here."
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two aerial antennas meet on a roof, fall in love get married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant.
7. Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
8. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly
"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," said Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
9. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
11. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's
cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his
teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What?, Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"
12. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit
a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.
Robin